By Cindi Graesser
Publisher,
Innsbrook Today Magazine
cindi.innsbrook@gmail.com
Since 1995, the percentage of Americans meeting their partners online has risen dramatically, and the percentage meeting through almost all of the traditional ways has fallen, according to a recent paper published in the American Sociological Review, by Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University and Reuben Thomas of The City College of New York.
The article, taken from data in the How Couples Meet and Stay Together survey (online at http://data.stanford.edu/hcmst), states that family and grade school have been steadily declining in their influence over the dating market for 60 years.
 Since 1995, the rise of the Internet has partly displaced not only family and school, but also neighborhood, friends and the workplace as venues for meeting partners.
Factoids From The Survey
- middle-aged heterosexuals and homosexuals are particularly likely to have found their partners online,
- single people (college students, for example) who most likely inhabit an environment full of eligible potential partners may not need to actively search for partners at all,
- the Internet has dramatically improved the efficiency of searching for and finding new people outside of one's pre-existing social network,
- For most of the late 20th century, meeting through friends was the most common way heterosexuals met their partners; this method was from about 21% in 1940 to almost 40% in 1990, before going into decline and dipping below 30% for the most recently formed couples,
- Meeting a partner through coworkers was on a steady rise from 1940 and a peak around 1990 (about 20%), followed by a steep decline after 1990,
- For couples who met in 1990 and before, the percentage who met online was essentially zero. Between 1995 and 2005, there was exponential growth in the number of couples who met their partners online to 22%.
- For couples who met in 2009, the Internet was the third most likely way of meeting, after the intermediation of friends, and approximately tied with the bars, restaurants and other public places.
- With the rise of the Internet as a way couples meet in the past few years and the decline in the central role of friends, Rosenfeld and Thomas believe the Internet could eclipse friends as the most influential way Americans meet their romantic partners.
- Among respondents in the study who met their partner online, 74% of the partnerships were between perfect strangers,
Interestingly, according to the researchers, young adults who tend to be among the most technologically savvy people in society, are among the least likely to meet partners online, the researchers say. Young adults have single others all around them which renders the search advantages of the Internet mostly irrevelant. In environments rich with potential partners, they say, old-fashioned face-to-face socializing still trumps online search.
 'How I Met My Sweetheart' Contest
Last month, we asked readers to send in their story about how they met their mate. Below are our top entries. The winning couple is Jay & Rochelle Toro. Read their love story below.
Jay and Rochelle will enjoy a romantic dinner for two courtesy of Innsbrook Today Magazine and Hondo's, in the Innsbrook Shoppes, with transportation by James Limousine.
How I met My Sweetheart Entries:
Tad Nelson of Markel
"How we met is still argued between us!! I say we met at the CAA Basketball Tournament. She says we met at the Chili Cookoff weeks later (Dave Matthews was the warm-up band). She noticed me immediately. After she kissed me (another argument) that night of the Chili Cookoff, I knew we were meant for each other. We're still together after 20 years (16 married)."
 Jorge Salgado of 'E² Event Management'
"We met when I was 17 and living in Miami. I had already seen Patience a couple times at church before Hurricane Andrew hit. The area that Patience lived in was demolished by the hurricane. I was so worried about her and couldn't find out if she was OK. A few days later everyone gathered at the church to reconnect. Once the doors opened I saw her beautiful face across the room. Here we are 20 years later happily married with four children."
Tracy Hale
of Turnkey Promotions
"In January 2009, a mutual friend introduced me to his neighbor at a garage party. After 6 months of hanging out, Chubby finally declared his affection. On Christmas Day 2011, Chubby popped the question; I said, Of course, YES! and we celebrated with a garage party!'
Shelly Linger,
Innsbrook Today reader
"My sweetheart FIRST caught my eye about 30 years ago, way back in middle school!! We grew up, we lost touch, then Facebook happened! We facebooked each other in 2008 and finally met for a drink; he is the love of my life, my first and last love!!"
Sanora Frampton of Social Security Administration (Innsbrook)
"My mother was the office manager at the Dept. of Social Services and informed me that she just hired a male employee. Her office was predominantly female. Some of the older, married women did not hesitate to inform me that there was a single, eligible young man who I should check out.
"I did visit and was introduced but he did not tickle my fancy, so to speak. My mother was in awe of him and became very close to him. He also would go with my mother to pick my daughter up from day care and she too became very fond of him. After months of their relationship with him, I too became fond of him and we began dating. Two years later we were married and have been happy ever since!"
... AND THE WINNING ENTRY:
 Rochelle Toro
The short version:
"Jay and I first met at Highwoods in 2000. He walked by my desk. I asked a co-worker who he was... new HVAC guy. I'm going to marry that guy." I said. What I didn't know is he asked his coworker, "who is that girl?" coworker answers..."Oh that's just Rochelle." Jay said, "Well, I'm in love.
The longer version:
"When we met, I knew instantly I was going to marry him. But before all that I had to ask my boss, at the time, Dean Squires-Highwoods if it was OK to date a co-worker because I had never done that before. I asked and he told me it that it was OK.
"So, we dated…for the longest year and half of my life. He was worth waiting for…I don't know how to put it any other way. As our relationship progressed and Jay asked me to marry him, I had to go back to Dean and ask him if it was OK that I was going to marry my co-worker. I had never done that before either. He laughed and said his congratulations and "yes you may!"
"That was February 2002 before we got married; Jay brought me a huge bouquet of flowers. The biggest bouquet I had ever seen! He set it on my desk and I stared in amazement. He said he would see me later and then brought back a second one just as big. I started crying and then he brought back one single rose…yeah…I was going to marry that guy! |
